What's Next?
Lately I've been feeling like my current life has been approaching a crossroads. I feel a need to make some serious changes, yet the major aspects of my life are exactly where I want them to be. I'm in love with my husband of 8 years and we are very happy together. My children are great. They do many of the annoying things that all children do but they rarely give me any real cause to complain. I love my home, although I am looking forward to someday renovating the kitchen and master bathroom. Money is pretty tight these days, but we're certainly not the only ones in that boat. So what is causing my desire to change things?
In the past 6 weeks I have dyed my hair, started locs and cut several inches from it. I think I like it but I'm not totally sold on the new look just yet. I definitely want to lose some weight. My fat jeans have become my every day jeans. But physical changes are not what I am thinking about. I am seeking spiritual changes. I really want to draw closer to God and discover His purpose for my life.
I have always believed in God and have considered myself a Christian, even when I knew my actions did not fit with my claim. As a wife and mother I am constantly made more aware of what is wrong in this world. Our society is spiraling into selfishness, greed and a fruitless search for pleasure. My husband and I are trying to raise our children in a way that opposes this trend and that includes setting appropriate examples for them. We're showing them a great example of a loving, married couple but I also want them to see that they should always be willing to help others. They've seen me roll give money to homeless people at busy intersections. They help me gather their outgrown clothing and gently used toys to donate to others in need. We've gone to sing Christmas carols to the elderly in nursing homes. They've even helped us prepare and deliver food to homeless people. These are all good deeds but I want them to experience a lifestyle of giving.
What I think I really want is something that will make a positive difference on a daily basis. I know that my decision to be a stay at home mother is having an excellent influence on my own children. But what about other families? There are so many who are struggling just to get by. Now and then we might be late paying a bill or two. We can't go out to eat like we used to and I certainly don't have the extensive wardrobe that I once had. But we have what we need and much of what we want. Here in New Orleans, some people are still in trailers - seriously! Some people had to return their trailers to FEMA and are squatting in their own flooded, gutted shell of a house. They have no power, water, furniture or anything that most people consider a necessity. They can't feed their children. We consider living off of one paycheck a sacrifice for the benefit of our children. But I think I could sacrifice my time to help other people and their children.
I don't know exactly what my next steps will be. I'm going to start with studying the bible on a daily basis and making more time to pray. I know that God will guide me to do His will and I'm eagerly looking forward to whatever he has planned for me. I'm looking forward to being a blessing to others, especially here in New Orleans, where people are still recovering from a four-year-old wound that has been allowed to fester for far too long.
In the past 6 weeks I have dyed my hair, started locs and cut several inches from it. I think I like it but I'm not totally sold on the new look just yet. I definitely want to lose some weight. My fat jeans have become my every day jeans. But physical changes are not what I am thinking about. I am seeking spiritual changes. I really want to draw closer to God and discover His purpose for my life.
I have always believed in God and have considered myself a Christian, even when I knew my actions did not fit with my claim. As a wife and mother I am constantly made more aware of what is wrong in this world. Our society is spiraling into selfishness, greed and a fruitless search for pleasure. My husband and I are trying to raise our children in a way that opposes this trend and that includes setting appropriate examples for them. We're showing them a great example of a loving, married couple but I also want them to see that they should always be willing to help others. They've seen me roll give money to homeless people at busy intersections. They help me gather their outgrown clothing and gently used toys to donate to others in need. We've gone to sing Christmas carols to the elderly in nursing homes. They've even helped us prepare and deliver food to homeless people. These are all good deeds but I want them to experience a lifestyle of giving.
What I think I really want is something that will make a positive difference on a daily basis. I know that my decision to be a stay at home mother is having an excellent influence on my own children. But what about other families? There are so many who are struggling just to get by. Now and then we might be late paying a bill or two. We can't go out to eat like we used to and I certainly don't have the extensive wardrobe that I once had. But we have what we need and much of what we want. Here in New Orleans, some people are still in trailers - seriously! Some people had to return their trailers to FEMA and are squatting in their own flooded, gutted shell of a house. They have no power, water, furniture or anything that most people consider a necessity. They can't feed their children. We consider living off of one paycheck a sacrifice for the benefit of our children. But I think I could sacrifice my time to help other people and their children.
I don't know exactly what my next steps will be. I'm going to start with studying the bible on a daily basis and making more time to pray. I know that God will guide me to do His will and I'm eagerly looking forward to whatever he has planned for me. I'm looking forward to being a blessing to others, especially here in New Orleans, where people are still recovering from a four-year-old wound that has been allowed to fester for far too long.
posted by Tamara at 9:54 AM
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